So I'm on the pill and the patch, yet I still crave sitting by the grungy stairwell, puffing on the cancer stick as if it'd save me from my wretched disposition.
I realize that it is not so much the nicotine that I crave, but the smoke piercing my lungs with every drag. I enjoy the reminder that every breath I take is fraught with pain and this addiction needs to stop. Why is it so hard to find the good things in life? Do I need more guidance?
She accuses the class of plagiarism, but I wonder if she is talking about me. I took out one section from the web (attributing the source) and used it in my argument that one of the reasons for transition from primitive to modern was population. Like that takes some great theorist...
Spent the weekend in some cathartic separation with the wife. She seems much better after sedating herself with salvific amphetamines. Had a fun time with those who came over, although I still have some reservations about them. Annoying.
Money's down to a nil and still have nothing going for me. After that drunken debauchery in self-deluding ass nugget, my brain feels fried. I am drained, tired, and wretched looking for some refuse to drown my pities in.
Can't wait to class where I expect a short castigation warning me of the dangers in plagiarism. Who knows where it will go from here. She said it will be a day that changes my life. Right. I am never privy to salvation from this life.
buddha jam
Saw three Chinese men trying to shoot some hoops. An idea for a movie popped up into my head and I found myself tearing over an idea this morning. Wonder if it is a sign of depression or inspiration.
Think I have my first screenplay.
After two bottles of GNC vitamins, three collagen capsule orders, some t-shirts, shoes, and a cap, she gets the prize for topping off my credit card. I am very angry at her and I believe I will take away my credit cards.
However, I feel like a tyrant, but what else can I do? Perhaps give her an allowance? Yes. I'll give her $100 tomorrow and take away the credit cards.
It seems to me that after a century of reforming an opium addicted society via cold turkey under the auspices of religious Marxism, China is returning to the global office with renewed optimism and an entrepenurial spirit unmatched since Edo became Tokyo. China has expanded its economic nuclear capabilities from counterfiet Gucci bags to low cost bath robes and cotton underwear. This of course has all the Senate in the US decrying an embargo to cease funding these economic terrorists. In addition, by pegging the Yuan to the dollar, the Chinese have turned the tables by using American corporate greed to bolster their stance as a new hegemonic Asian powerhouse that seeks to overthrow America's favorite lapdog, Japan.
Considering how pragmatic sensibility drove all business away from Central America, China's assumption to power means good riddance to this office. Everyone's panties ready to burst at a words notice of what may entail a complaint. Professional work ethic is at maximum facade and actual work level, to everyone's sincere dismay, is at a concrete minimum. Yet, amidst all the fluctuation in the global business environment, the company's bandwidth to internet game sites, remains constant. Constancy is what we need right now.
I should be worried about unemployment by the time the baby is born, but things look okay. Unemployment and severance pay should carry me through for at least a year; it provides an opportunity to expedite completing the degree; and the thought of drinking beer while scratching my nuts at two in the afternoon is, to some extent, appealing.
Corps de Doh
Prior to what scholars in the 13th Century would call the crusade, Christians had been trying to regain the southern Spanish lands they had lost to the Muslims. Aside from the unimportant things, like as money and resources, the devout "soldiers of Christ" crossed the Pyrenees to do the will of God and purge the infidels from Christian lands. On the other hand, the other soliders, the fat knights who were never good enough for their fathers, the chivalrous dreamers who had to run away from their nagging moms, the conscientious objectors who would have fought the Muslims if they really did anything to them, too lazy to get their asses across the Pyrenees or too traumatized to wake from their dreams, dwaddled around the countryside with severe cases of headupthebuttits; a terminal spiritual disease, whose main symptom consisted of pushing little peasants around for turnips and beets.
Pope Urban II standing across the gates of Clermont rallied the primogenitural rejects, the poor, the stupid, the spiritually and emotionally deformed creatures to love each other, get off their lazy butts and do something worthwhile--like a pilgrimage to Jerusalem that was putatively a traditional and penitential journey. So charismatic was his speech and so impassioned was his plea, that thousands cried "Deus le Volt, Deus le Volt," before trekking in the opposite direction from Spain.
A little tear fell across Pope Urban's eyes as he saw off his loveable losers on their way to do the will of God. He could only imagine the surprise the on the face of the Byzantine Emperor Alexius I, who would see an independent mobilization of the Corps de Doh, a collective group consisting of the rejects from each and every class, who were neither ordered by a monarch or impressed into duty, but inspired by the man who spoke the word of God. It would only be a matter of time that the East would realize how Rome really was appointed by God to rule over the world.
But alas, the pilgrimage of the poor in motivation and initiative were filled with obstacles that could only have been resolved by the judgment of God. The wicked army of women and children of heretical Jewish and Muslim settlements were shown the will of God, as the Corps de Deux moved on to greet the Emperor of the East.
As expected, Alexius, obviously too impressed with the unseen hand of God at work, thought it best to politely stash the precious jewel into a safe place by hiding them in Bosporus. However, the unseen hand of God would not be unseen. Rather, the Corps de Doh were molested by a puny army of a de-centralized muslim faction by Anatolia. Had God abandoned them? Had Urban not been so urbane? Ah, ye of little faith, did they tell themselves when their big brothers showed up. The Corps de Doh entered the gates of Jerusalem where they lifted their hands to receive penance.
Your vow has been fulfilled. Onward Christian Soldier, back to your homeland to tell the tale of how raping the chickens and eating the women had saved your soul from damnation!
weekend update
"It happened so quickly," was an understatement, especially after Accu-Clear spit two lines for a two minute wedding gone perfectly right. A snapshot of the newlyweds taken through a camera phone followed by a hot dog with relish and mustard reception on the corner of Centre and Chamber St. A baby due in eight months and a raise due in two weeks.
Slightly apprehensive about the future, but in Bush we trust. Although school's going well, plans for world domination needs to be readjusted in light of unexpected contingencies--like the ten pounds she's gained in the last two weeks. Hopefully, she won't eat us out of a home.
For now, if it be a baby boy, then Faith. If it be a baby girl, then Faith. If it be George Michael, faith the faith the faith.